Bola

Okay. Let’s try writing down some pertinent essay-thoughts. There are two very different but somewhat equally viable approaches to this. I could do exactly what everyone else is presumably doing and simply write a standard, boring, bland, mundane, drivelous piece of drivel that takes the same tried and true method of essay writing to heart….but then that would just be so high school, don’t you think? On the other hand, I could do, for lack of a more down-to-earth phrase, what I want. I could speak directly to my audience, namely you, and answer the prompts, biased as they are towards a certain answer, in a more direct manner, a more creative manner, and a more fun manner. Personally, I think that makes for much better reading, but as a mere college freshman, it can hardly be my place to voice such a modern opinion, until that is, you take another look at the aforementioned prompt.

I daresay I have your attention now, haven’t I?

Call it presumptuous, call it arrogant, call it bold, call it grammatically incorrect, call it utterly foolhardy foolishness, or just call it what I have to teach you, dear agéd reader. You are a tad older than I, correct? Then, what is it I am teaching you, exactly? The most obvious is likely that I believe, in the right contexts, casual banter can be far more effective at message conveyance than stuffy speech built on overly formalized walls of words that evoke a veritable wall of Z’s in their weary victims. The second most obvious is likely arrogance, but I prefer to call it bravado. You see, the hubris of the elders derives itself naturally from all of those pent up years of experience with no other means of expressing themselves, while that of the youth arises from our perceived limitless potential for that same venerated wisdom. So, it is only logical that we mutually benefit each other by, at the very least, teaching the other about the sort of nonsense that he seems to lack.

Got you there, didn’t I?

Anyways, back to the main point of this self-serving tirade, I do believe that professors should listen to a beginner, that I can bring wisdom to this university, that my mind is in a constant state of Zen, that I am trustworthy for another eleven years, that I have no folly to speak of in place of wisdom because I am a young man, and that I shall lead the animal kingdom into a new era of prosperity brought on by a mysterious case of carnivore confusion. How, you ask? First and foremost, I believe I can bring tasty and fresh knowledge to the table because all four of the essay prompts told me I can. It seems almost suicidal to any prospect of earning the scholarship to even consider thinking of attempting an essay geared towards proving the youth of today have absolutely nothing to teach anybody remotely older than themselves when every single clue is clearly pointing in the opposite direction. So, as ingenious as it might be to write an essay about something I do not believe will ever be true simply because nobody else should will write it, I’ve already stated why I won’t. Honestly, it’s possible to glean any sort of knowledge, pretentious or otherwise, from any sort of being. Take, for example, the humble blade of grass. Take a break from reading this nonsense and go outside and observe a field of them in all their emerald majesty. Now that you’re back, the lesson here is simple: never stop reaching for the sky, for your dreams, no matter much you get cut down. Now, ask yourself a question. Is such an idea really so cliché if so few people can really take it to heart? Or, if you still don’t believe me, take dolphins, or other such mammalian sea-dwellers. No matter how deeply you wish to immerse yourself in something, you must always come up for air at some point. Such is the way of nature, and of life.


Now, the bait is set. Despite the fact that this style may go against everything the public education system of Texas has taught me (which I doubt you have a high opinion of anyway), you, dear reader, cannot simply cast it aside. After all, is this not the entire point of the prompt? This is my lesson. These are my lessons… and now, it is your turn.