or Three Things You Should Never Talk About With Other People
You all know what I'm talking about. Those forbidden fruits of the conversationalist's orchard. The mere mention of any of these topics, while almost guaranteed to give any exchange a spark (bonfire?) of life, also have the propensity to trigger wars, grudges,
fistycuffs, and food fights, among other such travesties. Of course, I say almost. Most people who talk about this kind of thing hopefully have the foresight to reserve these topics for those who agree with them. It has been scientifically proven through rigorous experiments that people think highly of other people that agree with them as opposed to people who don't. More of that self-indulgence thing, eh? And then, of course, there are the people who go around shouting out their opinions on these topics for all to hear, whether they want to hear it or not, just for the juicy reactions.
These people, quite frankly, are sillies. Ignore them.
Returning to the topic at hand, we will begin our tour of the verbal no-
no's with something that should be on every
American's mind right now: Politics.
Also the least likely to spontaneously
combust. Fans of this topic can most easily be divided into three groups. We have Republicans/
Righties/Conservatives/Fetus-Lovers, Democrats/Lefties/Liberals/Fetus-Killers, and those that believe politicians should be hanged. The point is, when it comes to politics, at least half of the country is likely to be in very strong disagreement with you. This probably includes Fox News. Not much to see here otherwise.
Next up, Religion, Bringer of War. Now, don't get me wrong; religion is a fine thing. It gives us hope, joy, a justification to all the times we
didn't hit somebody, and made us feel bad when we
did. But then, under all the wonderful teachings these things bestow upon us, there is always the inevitable edict within every religion that denounces every other religion as being wrong, and in most cases, blasphemous. Now, it's human nature to place oneself above all others, but narrow-mindedness on this scale is just pointless. I don't see the benefit of taking a sword to my neighbor because my God is better than his god even though they're essentially the same, just with a different name. Theological arguments themselves can be extremely enlightening, but then speech comes to scream and you can't hear yourself think because two people (countries) have two different opinions.
There he is! There he is! The Great Pumpkin! This brief list was inspired by Linus van Pelt, who uttered the very same words in syndicated form. The Great Pumpkin. How often was poor Linus ridiculed for his loyal beliefs, when all the other kids wrote letters to a fat old man in a red suit? Ridiculed because they thought it was stupid, because they thought he was a fool, because they didn't understand it. Most people, not all, but most, will choose to poke fun at things they don't fully understand. They'll choose to fear it, to disdain it, to cast it out. Why? Good question. It doesn't really make that much sense. As if the effort of learning a little more about the world, or another person, isn't really worth it.
**A short disclaimer: if the contents of this entry, or the entire blog for that matter, somehow offend you, I'm very deeply sorry. This was meant to be slightly satirical in nature, so take the stick out of your butt. Also, thanks to Steffi for being the wall I bounced ideas off of for the first half of this.
